https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/writing.html Clinical commentary on burnout, complex PTSD, high-functioning anxiety, and recovery from difficult relationships. en-us Sun, 06 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMT https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/borrowed-trust-bni-professional-social-groups.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/borrowed-trust-bni-professional-social-groups.html Sun, 06 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMT How affinity fraud and social credibility can turn a referral, title, club, church, or professional network into misplaced financial trust. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/dating-app-financial-predators-feeld-hinge-bumble.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/dating-app-financial-predators-feeld-hinge-bumble.html Sat, 05 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMT Current cases, platform warnings, and the progression from a match to private messaging, money requests, fraud, or sextortion. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/conditional-affection-financial-coercion.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/conditional-affection-financial-coercion.html Fri, 04 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMT How conditional affection and punishment after a financial boundary can turn spending into coercion. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/image-focused-parenting-school-age-children.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/image-focused-parenting-school-age-children.html Tue, 01 Sep 2026 12:00:00 GMT Image-focused parenting becomes concerning when a polished public family image repeatedly outweighs a school-age child's comfort, privacy, or right to refuse. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ask-for-reassurance-without-shame.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ask-for-reassurance-without-shame.html Sun, 30 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Name the feeling first, then make one specific, answerable request: "I've felt uncertain since our conversation. Can you tell me where we stand?" Skip the… https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-compliments-feel-uncomfortable.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-compliments-feel-uncomfortable.html Sat, 29 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT If compliments make you uncomfortable, the feeling usually comes from somewhere specific: praise that clashes with how you see yourself, the sudden pressure… https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/replaying-argument-for-hours.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/replaying-argument-for-hours.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Replaying an argument for hours is usually your mind's way of trying to finish something that didn't feel resolved: a fear it wants to settle, a sentence it… https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/dread-therapy-even-when-it-is-helping.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/dread-therapy-even-when-it-is-helping.html Thu, 27 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT You can dread therapy and still be getting real value from it. The National Institute of Mental Health describes psychotherapy as treatment meant to help… https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/financial-anxiety-economic-stress-mental-health.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/financial-anxiety-economic-stress-mental-health.html Wed, 26 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Money stress often doesn't stay confined to the moment you're worried about. It can turn into a racing mind at night, a tight chest when you open a bill,… https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/partner-phone-relationship-attention.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/partner-phone-relationship-attention.html Tue, 25 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Talk about phone use, attention, privacy, reassurance, and control without reducing the relationship problem to screen-time minutes. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/what-if-you-do-not-like-your-therapist.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/what-if-you-do-not-like-your-therapist.html Mon, 24 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Practical language for discussing poor therapy fit, naming a rupture, requesting a different plan, seeking referrals, or choosing to leave. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/trauma-sleep-nighttime-anxiety.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/trauma-sleep-nighttime-anxiety.html Sun, 23 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Learn why trauma can make nighttime feel unsafe, why sleep hygiene is not the whole treatment, and when a focused assessment may help. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/financial-abuse-coercive-control.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/financial-abuse-coercive-control.html Sat, 22 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 35-study review found economic abuse common in service-seeking samples. Learn relationship signs, New York's coerced-debt law, and one safer first step. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/minimum-viable-contact.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/minimum-viable-contact.html Thu, 20 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT When avoidance makes a full reply feel impossible, learn how to make one brief, truthful contact without overpromising or overriding safety. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/vacation-burnout-time-off-not-enough.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/vacation-burnout-time-off-not-enough.html Fri, 14 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 32-study meta-analysis found vacations improve employee well-being, but relief may fade when work returns. Learn what to watch and when support may help. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/antagonistic-personality-styles-workplace.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/antagonistic-personality-styles-workplace.html Mon, 03 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 2015 meta-analysis found narcissism predicted leadership emergence, not effectiveness. Learn how workplace antagonism grows, harms clients, and how to respond. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/online-only-group-was-it-still-a-cult.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/online-only-group-was-it-still-a-cult.html Sun, 02 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT Only 9 of the 50 items in Hassan's BITE model require physical presence, and all nine are violence. Three of four categories need no shared room at all. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/summer-scaries-routine-anxiety-adults.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/summer-scaries-routine-anxiety-adults.html Sun, 02 Aug 2026 12:00:00 GMT 1 in 10 parents feels worse in summer, not better. Here's why losing routine triggers anxiety — and how to build a summer rhythm that helps. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/baiting-blame-shifting-provoked-reaction-antagonistic-person.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/baiting-blame-shifting-provoked-reaction-antagonistic-person.html Thu, 30 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Learn how baiting and blame-shifting redirect attention from a provocation to your reaction, and how to respond with context, accountability, agency, and safety. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/healthcare-worker-burnout-2026-the-caretaker-crash.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/healthcare-worker-burnout-2026-the-caretaker-crash.html Tue, 28 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT In AMN Healthcare's 2025 survey, 58% of nurses said they burn out most days. A New York therapist on over-functioning, and the first real step out of it. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/moving-goalposts-antagonistic-person-manipulation.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/moving-goalposts-antagonistic-person-manipulation.html Tue, 28 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Two controlled experiments show how adjacent DARVO tactics can shift judgment. Learn to spot shifting standards and exit the explain-prove-defend loop. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-parent-intrusion-adult-life-boundaries.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-parent-intrusion-adult-life-boundaries.html Tue, 28 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 2026 study of adults raised by narcissists named ongoing parental intrusion in adulthood a core theme. A New York therapist on taking back one decision. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/decision-paralysis-after-leaving-high-control-group.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/decision-paralysis-after-leaving-high-control-group.html Mon, 27 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Margaret Singer catalogued Indecisiveness as a post-exit category in 1979. Regulating diet is item 5 of 25 in the BITE model. Why choosing feels impossible. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/enmeshment-adult-family-no-boundaries.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/enmeshment-adult-family-no-boundaries.html Sun, 26 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Differentiation of self and trait anxiety correlated at r = -.69 in a 2021 study of 185 adults, roughly half the variance. What enmeshment costs later. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/medical-trauma-chronic-illness-not-believed.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/medical-trauma-chronic-illness-not-believed.html Sun, 26 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Across 151 qualitative reports on 11,307 people with hard-to-diagnose illness, medical trauma from not being believed tracked with shame and care avoidance. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/surveillance-anxiety-flock-cameras.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/surveillance-anxiety-flock-cameras.html Sun, 26 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A Texas Flock search reached 83,345 cameras. The reason typed into the search field was not the reason given to the public. What that gap does to a nervous system. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/tech-facilitated-abuse-phone-location-tracking.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/tech-facilitated-abuse-phone-location-tracking.html Sun, 26 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT CDC: 13.5% of women, 5.2% of men stalked by an intimate partner. Tech-facilitated abuse adds what researchers call "omnipresence" — control without presence. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/am-i-becoming-my-parent.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/am-i-becoming-my-parent.html Sat, 25 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT About two-thirds of people who were maltreated as children do not repeat it (National Academies, 2014). Why noticing the pattern protects your kid. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/anger-after-trauma-snapping-at-people-you-love.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/anger-after-trauma-snapping-at-people-you-love.html Sat, 25 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Anger after trauma is a listed PTSD symptom, not a character defect. Why the anger you swallow tracks tighter than the anger you show, and what helps. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/shame-vs-guilt-difference.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/shame-vs-guilt-difference.html Sat, 25 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Guilt is about what you did. Shame is about who you are. Across 108 studies, shame tracked with depression at r=.43, guilt at .28 (Kim, 2011). https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ambiguous-loss-grieving-someone-still-alive.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ambiguous-loss-grieving-someone-still-alive.html Fri, 24 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Grieving a parent who is still alive is ambiguous loss. 35% of US adults report family estrangement (Harris Poll). A NY therapist on why this grief won't close. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/antagonistic-people-relapse-risk.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/antagonistic-people-relapse-risk.html Fri, 24 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 1986 study found 59% of depressed patients relapsed within 9 months living with a critical spouse, vs. 0% with a low-conflict one. What protects you. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/was-it-bad-enough-cptsd-minimizing-your-trauma.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/was-it-bad-enough-cptsd-minimizing-your-trauma.html Fri, 24 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Emotional abuse is the most common adverse childhood experience in the US (34%). Why C-PTSD makes you minimize your own trauma, and what the criteria say. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-generic-self-help-fails-trauma.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-generic-self-help-fails-trauma.html Fri, 24 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT 21 days to a habit" is a myth; the real study found a median of 66 days, range 18 to 254. Why generic self-help assumes a nervous system you may not have today. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/covert-narcissistic-abuse-in-men.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/covert-narcissistic-abuse-in-men.html Wed, 22 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Men are abused by covertly narcissistic partners more often than anyone admits, and rarely believed. How to spot the pattern, the DARVO flip, and what helps. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/weaponized-honesty-just-being-honest.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/weaponized-honesty-just-being-honest.html Tue, 21 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT I'm just being honest" can be a costume for contempt, the behavior Gottman found most predicts a relationship ending. How to tell real feedback from cruelty. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/disenfranchised-grief-loss-no-one-acknowledges.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/disenfranchised-grief-loss-no-one-acknowledges.html Sun, 19 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Disenfranchised grief is real loss society won't validate — pet loss, miscarriage, estrangement, divorce. A NY therapist on why it's harder and what helps. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/leaving-high-control-group-recovery-aftermath.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/leaving-high-control-group-recovery-aftermath.html Sun, 19 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 2024 meta-analysis links coercive control to PTSD, yet many survivors recover alone. A New York therapist on rebuilding self-trust after a high-control group. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-parent-sabotages-milestones.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-parent-sabotages-milestones.html Sun, 19 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A NY therapist on why personality-disordered parents target weddings, graduations, and births, and how adult children protect the moment. Book the call. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-what-helps.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-what-helps.html Sun, 19 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) makes criticism feel like physical pain, often alongside ADHD. A NY therapist on why it happens and what helps. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/cptsd-developmental-arrest-stuck-at-the-age.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/cptsd-developmental-arrest-stuck-at-the-age.html Fri, 17 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Complex PTSD affects 3.8% of US adults. A New York therapist explains structural dissociation, the clinical reason part of you stays the age it happened. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/didnt-know-what-anxiety-felt-like-until-it-lifted.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/didnt-know-what-anxiety-felt-like-until-it-lifted.html Fri, 17 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT 83% of adults with GAD symptoms go undiagnosed (Montefiore Einstein, 2024). A therapist explains why anxiety often hides until it lifts. Telehealth: NY, ME, DE, FL. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissism-white-collar-crime-professionals.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissism-white-collar-crime-professionals.html Fri, 17 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT 84% of fraudsters showed red flags before detection (ACFE, 2026). What the research on narcissism and crime means when the person who hurt you is admired. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-abuse-and-stalking-after-you-leave.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-abuse-and-stalking-after-you-leave.html Fri, 17 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT More than 1 in 5 U.S. women have experienced stalking (CDC NISVS, 2025). Why leaving a narcissistic relationship can trigger stalking, and how to plan for safety. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-abuse-coercive-control.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/narcissistic-abuse-coercive-control.html Fri, 17 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Coercive control appears in up to 58% of abusive relationships (2024 meta-analysis). A NY therapist on the tactics, the new state laws, and rebuilding agency. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ai-burnout-paradox-high-functioning-professionals-ny.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/ai-burnout-paradox-high-functioning-professionals-ny.html Thu, 16 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Workers who feel AI makes them more productive are 4.5x more likely to burn out (WebMD, 2026). A NY therapist on why competence was never proof you were okay. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/friction-maxxing-summer-loneliness.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/friction-maxxing-summer-loneliness.html Thu, 16 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT 40% of US adults 45+ now report loneliness, up from 35% in 2010 (AARP, 2025). Friction-maxxing means choosing effort over ease. Why summer makes it matter. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/mental-health-leave-new-york-what-qualifies.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/mental-health-leave-new-york-what-qualifies.html Thu, 16 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT FMLA gives 12 workweeks of job-protected leave, and an LCSW can certify it. What New York paid sick leave and disability actually cover, in plain language. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/soft-dating-slow-dating-healing-or-hiding.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/soft-dating-slow-dating-healing-or-hiding.html Thu, 16 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT 62% of singles want a committed relationship and 46% say they're ready right now (Match/Kinsey, 2025). Here's how to tell healthy pacing from avoidance. https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-narcissists-cant-help-bragging-about-it.html https://matthewsextonlcswpllc.org/blog/why-narcissists-cant-help-bragging-about-it.html Thu, 16 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 2026 study found narcissism scores rise, not fall, when people try to impress others (Collabra: Psychology, 2026). How to reality-test what you're seeing.